Friday, February 22, 2013

The Buck Stops With You: Informed Choice

Ok moms.  So you've taken responsibility for your health to help ensure that you fall into the category of "normal".  You've done what you can to create a supportive care team. So what's the next step?  Even if you have no intention of giving up your morning doughnut and your OB is anything but helpful, the next step is just as important - maybe even more so.

Education.

When I first began teaching childbirth classes, I named them "Informed Choice Childbirth" because I felt that most reflected my heart. I didn't want women to end up in the position I was in with my first birth - having to make decisions without feeling like I had all the information I could (or should) have had.

You see, with my first birth I felt like I'd done everything I knew to do in order to prepare myself for the birth of my first son.  I WANTED a natural birth. I even went so far as to switch my care provider at seven months pregnant when I finally realized that having a natural birth while under his care was most likely going to be near to impossible.  I read books.  I read blogs.  I read articles I found online.

But I was fishing in the dark.  Oh sure, it was much better than nothing, but I had no guidance.  I didn't know the questions to ask.  I didn't know the places to search for wisdom and guidance.  I looked and looked for a natural birth class in my area, but the closest one I could find was 2+ hours away, ran for a number of weeks, and was mildly out of my budget even before you factored in the gas and time it would take me to get there every Thursday night for the foreseeable future.

With my second, I took a class.  It wasn't a live class but rather a course I could study at home, but it gave me a MUCH better foundation.  The curriculum gave me the guidance I needed to know which questions to ask and how to become much better prepared for the work ahead of me.

You see, just as you are the one to go through your birth (not your care provider, doula, or husband), in the end it's going to be YOU making the decisions.  Your doula will not be the one to wave a magic wand when your OB tells you you aren't progressing fast enough and pitocin (or surgury) is needed.  Your midwife has no magical power to give you the "gentle" or "easy" birth you think you are looking for, and if things start going wrong she will still expect you to make the final decision to change your birth plan.  You may have some help or input from these people, but they won't be making the decisions for you.

But some of those decisions are very hard to make.  Feeling like you have made INFORMED decisions is how you make sure you have an empowering birth, especially if it starts to take a turn outside of the realm of normal.  How do you prepare yourself?

Read, read, read.  Familiarize yourself with NORMAL (natural) birth.  This is most important for women planning to give birth at the hospital where you are more likely to get pressured into unnecessary interventions.  You know how they teach specialists to recognize counterfeit money?  They NEVER show them the fakes.  They make them study the real deal so much that recognizing the false bills becomes a simple matter of realizing that something is just NOT QUITE right.  Midwives are more often trained in this fashion while Dr.s are more often trained to see a problem (often leading to intervention as a "precaution" when it wasn't needed to begin with).  Begin to familiarize and re-train yourself to recognize the normal things of birth.

TAKE a birth class!  Even if you are planning on getting an epidural or cesarean, there are a multitude of benefits to having a class.  Find a live one if you can.  Getting into a birth class has many benefits.  It gives you a starting point for knowing what questions to ask or topics to study.  It will give you the tools you need to be able to gather information quickly if you find yourself in a situation you were not prepared for.  It gives you access to a LIVE PERSON who has experience and knowledge - someone you can keep referring back to if you have more questions down the road.  Childbirth educators are also often very involved in the birthing community and can help you track down a doula or find a care provider that meets your needs.  But taking a good childbirth class can often make up for the lack of ability to create your ideal birth team by giving you the tools to continue to take charge of your birth and make informed decisions.

And I promise, if you are not making decisions, someone else will make them for you.  I can also promise that this is the fastest road to feeling discontent with your birth, even if it is a natural one!  Most women LOVE their natural births, but if you were the mom who went in expecting an epidural and were told you couldn't have one or you get one that doesn't work, you'll be frustrated.  There was no informed consent on your part.  You just got swept up in the tidal wave.  Not a good place to be! 

The buck stops with you mom.  No one will experience your birth but you.  No one will make your decisions (unless you want them to).  Make your own choices!  Just make them informed ones!

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