The Buck Stops With You Mom

I got quite a bit of great feedback following my last post, and it has inspired me to write a small series on the subject.

The buck stops with you mom.  No one will be experiencing your birth but you.  No one will be making your birth decisions (hopefully) but you.  It can seem like a pretty large burden to bear, but guess what?  The same goes for parenting.  Would you expect your pediatrician to tell you that you absolutely CAN'T put your child in school because he/she is too stupid?  What if he said you CAN'T breastfeed, let your baby stay with a sitter, or even use a pacifier?  Just try giving parenting advice to the nice lady next to you in the checkout line.  She's pretty likely to give you the evil eye.

So if we aren't willing to let others take over our parenting role, why are we so eager to give away our decision making rights during birth?

When the buck stops with you, it will often mean getting out of your comfort zone.  Welcome to parenthood.  "When a baby is born, so is a mother." -Unknown.  This quote is so true, but the birthing process begins long before your baby takes his first breath.  Being a parent will require you to get out of your comfort zone.  Being a parent will require you to make some sacrifices.  Being a parent will sometimes require you to make some hard decisions and then stick by them.

But guess what?  Being a parent is also one of (dare I say THE) most rewarding experience there is.  Your birth is a preparation for this.  There will be hard decisions.  You will have to stand up to SOMEBODY when they begin to question your birth decisions (friends, your family, your OB - just about no one gets off the hook on this one).  Then of course, there will be sacrifices involved in the act of giving birth.  No one gets out of this one either, though many women try really hard.  Even with all the strength involved, the reward - the birth of your baby, in whatever form - is worth every moment!

I want to make a short disclaimer here.  I firmly believe that the vast majority of women are fully capable of a normal (natural) birth.  I believe every woman should be given every possible chance to have one if that is her desire.  However, we live in a world that is broken - a world where things don't always work like they should.  This is where you begin to move out of the realm of "normal".  This is where interventions begin to be a blessing - most often that's what they were meant for! I like to encourage couples NOT to think of natural birth as being the "WIN" while everything else means you lost.  That is absolutely not true.  What is true is that most women CAN have a normal birth, and as long as you are prepared to make the decisions that are right for you and your baby if things progress outside the realm of normal, you still come out the other side a mom and a winner!  It's just another version of the same game and may require some different playing strategies.

So, how do you increase your odds of having a normal birth?  Well, that's what this series is going to cover!  Over the next few days/weeks we'll cover some of the basics - health, education, and empowerment!